Straightjacket Feeling ch. 3

Six months later…… (still in their childhood)

The Winchesters were fast asleep in a new home. Dean had to share a room with his baby brother, much to his discontent. John Winchester, the boys’ father was asleep in the living room when he was woken suddenly by a pounding on the door. He got up, hand on his shot gun, and walked to the door. He looked out the window and saw no one. Then there was another pounding. He opened the door slowly and looked out, making sure to keep the gun concealed so he had the element of surprise. He looked down and slowly set the gun so it was leaning against the wall and opened the door all the way. Standing before him was a little girl with tears in her eyes.

He knelt down in front of her and comfortingly placed his hands on her shoulders. John’s eldest son stood at the top of the stairs watching in silence. The girl had seen him but made not acknowledgment of it. “What’s wrong Abbi,” he asked quietly. “What happened?”

“G… gone,” she whispered through her loud childish sobs. “They’re gone. It’s not fair.” She leaned forward and buried her head in John Winchester’s shoulder, crying her eyes out.

“Who’s gone,” he asked wrapping his arms around her and patting her on the back to comfort her. The child’s body trembled in his arms.

“My… my mommy and daddy,” she said quietly. The first thing that ran through John’s mind was his wife. “I… I was in be… bed,” she said quietly. “Rachel was downstairs.” Rachel was a local girl that did a lot of babysitting for the Foresters and Winchesters. “I… I heard the phone ring. A… a few minutes later Rachel came upstairs. She thought I was asleep but I wasn’t. I… she called her mom and told her that’s how I found out. I climbed out my window,” she said looking up at the man. “I don’t want to go home alone,” she said with tears in her eyes.

“Shh,” he whispered picking her up. He closed the door and turned around, noticing his eldest son standing at the top of the stairs. He wanted to tell Dean to go back to bed but he knew his son wouldn’t listen. “Come on down here Dean,” he said motioning for his son to join him. Dean ran down the stairs and walked behind his father looking up at Abbi the whole way to the living room. John put Abbi on the couch and sat down on a chair nearby as Dean sat down next to his best friend.

“Dad,” he asked quietly. He didn’t understand what was happening. Abbi was asleep, curled up in a ball with her head on Dean’s lap.

John watched them for a long time before speaking. He knew he should call Rachel, let her know what’s going on before she got scared. Though, Abbi had run off before when Rachel was babysitting her. Abbi always came to the Winchester’s. He couldn’t put her into a foster home or adoption agency. It wasn’t fair to her and she was special. She may be helpful when she gets older. “Dean,” he said quietly, looking over at his son. “Abbi’s going to be staying with us for a while all right?” Dean nodded slowly and looked down at Abbi.


Four Years Later……


“Sammy, stop that,” a ten year old girl’s voice whined. Abbi looked down at the child seat next to her. The five year old’s hand kept reaching for Abbi’s long brown hair. “Sammy,” she snapped again as he pulled at her hair. When she heard a laugh from the older boy next to her she turned to him and smacked him. “Shut up Dean,” she yelled. “Ow, Sammy will you grow up?” She sighed. “Mr. Winchester, tell Sammy to stop pulling my hair.”

“Sammy,” his father said in a stern voice. “Don’t make me come back there. Leave her alone.” Sam made a sound that resembled a whine and Abbi turned to him sticking her tongue out at him. “Abigail Renee Murphy,” he shouted from the front seat. “I saw that too.” She made a pouting face and crossed her arms angrily. John Winchester looked through the mirror and laughed. After that it was quiet for a long time. Dean was staring out the window. He hadn’t said anything in a while, which meant he was either bored of tired. John could never tell. Abbi saw the look of wonder on John’s face, through the mirror.

“He’s tired,” she said simply. She could always seem to tell what Dean was thinking or feeling. John smiled and rolled his eyes. He wondered how long a life like this would keep the kids together. She smiled and rested her head on Dean’s shoulder. He looked down at her then back out the window as both of them drifted off to sleep.


Two Years Later……

“Daddy,” Sammy’s small seven year old voice called from his bedroom. Abbi, who was three rooms away, woke instantly. She had gotten so used to Sammy’s nightmares. Dean was still fast asleep.

She walked into Sammy’s room and sat down next to him on the bed. “What’s wrong Sammy,” she asked. It was obvious Sam’s dad didn’t hear him or hadn’t realized it yet. She wrapped her arms around Sam and looked down at him.

“I’m scared,” he whispered. He curled up by her and began to cry. He was a very fragile boy; she was beginning to notice that.

“Shhh, it’s okay Sammy,” she whispered rocking him back and forth. “Your brother and father and me are here to protect you,” she said with a smile looking down at him. “You have nothing to be afraid of.”

Finally Sammy’s father came into the room. “What’s wrong Sammy,” he asked. He saw Abbi in the bed. “Why don’t you go get back to be Abbi?” She nodded and let go of the clinging child.

“Goodnight Sammy,” she said as she left the room.

“What’s wrong Sammy,” John asked as he sat on the end of Sammy’s bed.

“I’m scared.”

“Here,” he said taking a small knife out of his the drawer in Sam’s bedside table. Then he stood and walked out of the room. “Good night Sammy,” he said smiling. “I love you.”

Abbi watched from her room, the door was just cracked open. She looked down at Dean who was sleeping. That’s when it started, or at least when she realized it. Dean was more than just her best friend. She looked back out of the cracked door and watched Sam sit there on his bed, holding the knife tightly. She felt so bad for the poor boy. “He’ll be all right,” a voice from behind her said. She turned to Dean and sighed.

“It’s not fair to him Dean,” she said quietly.

Three Years Later…..

“You little cheater,” she shouted as she ran after Dean. The Winchesters had been on the road for a month now. They were in the middle of Kansas, heading home when they stopped for a break to stretch their legs. It was mostly for the kids. John Winchester sat in the car and watched the three of them in the field. They were running around playing Tag.

“I am not,” he said laughing as he caught her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “You’re just slow,” he said with a smile as he looked down at her. This was the most normal any of them had been in ten years. Dean smiled and lightly kissed her cheek.

“Ewww,” Sam yelled. “Dad, they’re kissing!” he yelled back to his father. John laughed.

“Shut up Sammy,” Dean said looking down at his little brother. “You’ll understand when you’re older.” As Dean was talking Abbi managed to wriggle herself from his grip and turned to face him. A small devilish smile crossed her lips.

“Tag,” she said smacking his arm and running away from him. He laughed and ran after Sam. Sam screamed and ran away. They both stopped suddenly though when they saw Abbi collapse. “Abbi,” Dean screamed running to her side. John also saw it and got out of the car as fast as he could. He ran over to where the kids were and picked her up. He drove her to the hospital. Sam and Dean watched as the doctor talked to their father. Dean was terrified, and it showed. John walked back to the boys. He couldn’t tell him, not Dean anyway. “Heat exhaustion,” he said simply to the boys. “It’s a good thing we have a long rest coming up.”

Later that day when Abbi was able to be discharged John walked up to the front desk. The secretary there told him he wasn’t able to take her. She was a minor and under the custody of the State of Kansas. He fought for hours with people via phone or face to face conversations and they all said the same thing. A social worker came and took Abbi. Dean watched, staring speechless as they took Abbi away. Abbi was screaming and she tried to run to Dean but she couldn’t get away. As soon as she was gone Dean fell to his knees and cried. Sam watched in confusion. He didn’t really understand what was going on. He knelt down next to his brother and placed a comforting hand on Dean’s shoulder.

Present Time

“Heat exhaustion my ass,” Dean said bitterly. He turned to his brother who seemed utterly confused. “You remember when she collapsed when we were playing tag when you were kid? We had to take her to the hospital and that’s how she got taken away? Tell me you remember that, you were ten.” Sam nodded reluctantly. “Dad lied to me Sam,” he said coldly. As far as he knew, his father had never lied to him. Not even about what really happened to their mother. “He said it was heat exhaustion.”

“Maybe that’s what the doctors thought it was Dean,” Sam said simply. “They didn’t have the same kind of diagnostic technology then.”

“It’s in her records Sam,” he said simply. “That’s what the doctor just said. He asked if I knew.” Dean sighed and looked down. He chewed at his lower lip for a moment in frustration. “She knew, and Dad knew and no one ever once told me.”

Sam didn’t know what to say. He knew that had to be painful but he still didn’t think it was right for Dean to just leave her like that. He tried to imagine what she must have felt ten years ago when she was taken by the state. “Dean,” he said trying to console his brother. “Maybe she thought you knew. Maybe she thought Dad told you. Its not something that comes up in normal conversation.”

“There’s that word again Sam,” he said coldly. “There’s a lot of things that don’t come up in normal conversation. Like your mother attached to the ceiling then spontaneously combusting. Those things come up in our conversations.”

“Still, Leukemia would have been a little strange, even for our family. Can you imagine how hard that must have been?” He sighed and lowered his head. He hated his brother’s stubbornness. “Damn it Dean,” he said quickly. “Don’t leave her like Dad left,” he said quietly. He knew he would regret that statement but it had to be said.

To Sam’s surprise, Dean didn’t say anything. In fact, Dean was silent for a long time. He slowly looked up at his brother after a few long minutes. “What am I supposed to say to her Sam?”