Straightjacket Feeling ch. 4

“Something Dean, anything,” Sam said simply. “Don’t just leave her here.” He sighed once more. He remembered just as well as Dean the look on Abbi’s face when she was taken away. “She needs you Dean,” he said simply. “Are you just going to abandon her?”

“What the hell am I supposed to say to her Sam,” he shouted turning to his brother. “Answer me that? I don’t know what I’m doing here,” he shouted. For the first time he let his brother see his pain. “How do I help her,” he said slowly sitting down in a chair. “I can’t save her like I did you Sammy,” he said looking over at his brother. This was almost impossible for Dean to comprehend. “Why couldn’t it have been a demon or something? Why couldn’t it have been something I can fight?”

“Dean Winchester,” a soft voice came from the desk nearby. Dean looked up towards the nurse that was standing there. “Miss Murphy’s asking for you,” she said kindly with a smile on her face.

Dean’s heart stopped and his breath caught in his throat. He looked over at Sam and Sam just nodded in the direction of Abbi’s room. “I’ll wait out here,” he said quietly.

Dean nodded and slowly rose to his feet. He stood there for a long time then followed the nurse into Abbi’s room. She was lying on the bed hooked up to all sorts of machines that Dean didn’t know what they were for. She had an IV and was hooked up to a heart monitor. Dean knew that much. He stared at her, standing in the doorway. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. She looked so fragile. It was nothing like the Abbi he knew. She was still very pale and dark circles encompassed her eyes. After a moment, Dean took a few steps forward and stopped next to Abbi’s bed. It took a long time for him to smile. She knew he was hurting. She knew John hadn’t told him. She had been with the Winchesters her whole life. It would have been to hard on him for watch his son grieve like that for her.

“I… I wanted to tell you Dean,” she said quietly. Though Dean didn’t realize it she could see his anger in his eyes. She always knew how Dean felt, even when Dean didn’t know. Dean slowly reached down and took her hand. After a moment, he pulled a chair over and sat down next to her bed.

“Did the doctors say how bad it was,” he asked trying to be strong. He thought it was embarrassing crying in front of Sam he couldn’t bear being weak in front of her. She shook her head slowly and closed her eyes. He watched her in silence for a long time, holding her hand. He had never really realized what she meant to him, not even when she was separated.

Sam stood in the doorway watching them. It was obvious that Abbi had fallen asleep. Dean didn’t know Sam was there. He tightened his hand around Abbi’s. “You can’t leave me now Abbi,” he whispered brushing her hair out of her face. “Not now when I have no one left.” A small shock of pain went through Sam’s heart when he heard that. He knew Dean was talking about their dad but it still hurt to hear him say that.

Dean rested his head on her bed and shut his eyes tightly. He finally broke down. Sam watched from the doorway as his brother’s body trembled and he heard his brother’s cries. He never thought he would see Dean break down like that. After a few moments, Sam went back out to the waiting room and sat back down. His mind traveled back to Jessica’s death. That had destroyed Sam. He didn’t want Dean to have to go through that. He knew it was something completely different with Abbi but still he could see the same pain in Dean’s eyes that had been in his when Jess died.

Dean finally came out into the waiting room and stopped a few feet from Sam. Dean’s eyes were empty. Sam knew that feeling all too well. Sam got up and walked over to his brother. “Dean I’m so sorry,” he said as he wrapped his arms around his brother. “I wish there was something I could do.”

Dean just turned and began to walk out of the hospital. “Where are you going,” Sam asked as he ran after him.

“Get a room before it gets too late,” he said simply. Sam was relieved by that. The two brothers got into Dean’s car and drove to a nearby hotel. They got a room and carried their stuff in. Dean got in the shower and Sam sat on the bed with his laptop. He figured since there were there he might as well look up and see if there was anything in the town that could keep Dean distracted for a while. Sam found a few local stories but nothing solid.

After a while Dean came out of the bathroom, wearing his blue jeans and went searching through his bag for a shirt. “Dean,” Sam asked looking over at his brother. Sam had just noticed something about his brother that was a bit disturbing. “Do you have any other pants?”

“What,” Dean said looking up at Sam. That was an unusual question. “Of course I do,” he answered defensively. “These are just my favorite.”

“Right,” Sam said with a nod as he went back to what he had been doing. Dean put his shirt on and fell backwards down on the other bed.

“Find anything,” he asked looking over at his brother. He assumed that was what Sam had been doing.

“Nothing worth checking out,” Sam said disappointedly.

Once they were settled in Dean called the hospital to let them know a number they could call if they needed anything. It was about three o’clock that morning when Dean’s cell phone rang. It woke Sam up but Dean had been so used to it he slept through it. “Dean,” Sam whispered trying to wake up his brother. “Dean,” he said a bit louder. Finally he just decided to answer the phone. “Hello,” he said with a groggy voice. “What,” he said sitting up straight. “Yeah.” Then he hung up the phone and jumped out of bed. “Dean wake up,” he said shaking his brother.

“Wha…,” Dean said slowly opening his eyes. He looked up at saw Sam standing over him. Then he turned and looked at the clock. “Sam, this better be good.”

“Abbi’s gone,” Sam said quickly. Dean went ghostly white. That was when Sam realized what Dean was thinking. “No, no,” he said quickly. “Not dead Dean. Gone, as in not in the hospital anymore.”

“What,” he said sitting up quickly. “That’s impossible she could barely stay awake more than a few minutes. There’s no way she could have gotten out of there unless someone took her.” Worry and dread filled Dean. Who would take her? Why would they take her?