Straightjacket Feeling ch. 8

“House” Dean said with a bit of a laugh as they stood outside the oldest house in town. “This is a mansion.” The house was a huge three-story mansion probably built in the late 18th century, early 19th century. He looked over at Sam and smirked. “Though I suppose she wasn’t really conscious when she was brought in,” he said with a bit of a laugh. It had been two days since Abbi called Dean. Dean had taken the advice of both his brother and the son of a bitch that had his best friend and gotten some sleep. The stood outside the mansion, not only was it the oldest house in town it was the only one uninhabited. They both knew it was a trap, why else would it be so easy.

That didn’t change Dean’s plan to go in there and get Abbi. “He’s looking for a confrontation,” Dean said simply. “He’s gonna get one.” He looked over at his brother, both carrying duffle bags full of any sort of weapon they might need. The walked up the steps and pushed the creaky door open. Then standing in the entryway they looked around. The house hadn’t been inhabited in a long time. There was no electricity. No problem, they brought flashlights. “You take this floor I’ll go up stairs, if you don’t find anything here go up to the third floor,” Dean told his baby brother. Sam nodded and headed passed the stairs and Dean headed up them. “Sammy,” he called quietly after his brother. Sam stopped and turned to Dean. “Be careful,” he said simply. Sam rolled his eyes and reluctantly nodded.

There were four rooms on the first floor, a large ballroom that was completely empty, an even larger kitchen, a study. Sam decided that he would check out the study later when they had Abbi and this Doyle guy was dead. The last room was in the back. It appeared to be a large storeroom that had been turned into a bedroom at some point. It appeared to be empty, but the room fit the description that Abbi gave Dean. He looked out the only window and saw both the moon and the hospital. He gave a jump when he heard the door close and he turned around. Sam moved the flashlight around, but found nothing. “Sam,” a small, but familiar voice called to him. His heart nearly stopped, but he figured it was Doyle. That was his assumption until his flashlight stopped on white fabric. He raised it up and saw the beautiful flawless face and blonde hair that belonged to the love of his life. “Sam,” she said again.

This time he swore his heart did stop. “J… Jess,” he chocked. She walked up to him and looked up into his dark, pain-filled eyes. He didn’t want to believe it. It wasn’t real, just a figment of his imagination. Then he felt her small hands on his chest. It was almost unbearable. “Jess,” he whispered again looking down at the angel before him. She smiled at him and gently ran her hand along his cheek. Then she raised herself on her toes and closed her eyes as she kissed him. At that moment, the bag Sam had over his shoulder fell to the ground and Sam dropped the shotgun. He placed his hands on her waist as he leaned down into her kiss. The realistic part of his mind was telling him this was impossible but he wouldn’t listen to it.

“Sam,” she whispered once more as she slowly leaned away from him. She smiled at him, tears in her eyes. She paused and looked down for a moment before slowly raising her eyes to him. “Sam you could have saved me,” she whispered. “Its his fault you know,” she said softly. “He shows up, hits on me, then steals you away so I can die? Its not fair Sam,” she said as she began to cry.

“Jess that’s not true,” he said softly cupping her face in his hands. “Its not true. Well, maybe the showing up and hitting on you part but rest isn’t true I swear.”

She shook her head and took a step back. “He didn’t want you to go back did he? He wanted you to stay with him. You thought about it didn’t you?” Her voice held a hint of accusation in it. She sighed and lowered her head before stepping back to him and placing her hands on his chest. “I don’t want to fight Sam,” she whispered before kissing him again. When she leaned back this time she looked into his eyes and brushed his hair out of his eyes. “I love you Sam Winchester,” she whispered.

He smiled and lightly kissed her. “I love you too Jess,” he whispered as he held her close, her head resting on his chest. “I always will.” He tried to fight back tears but it was impossible. “I’d do anything to save you Jess,” he whispered. “Anything.”

She slowly looked up at him, her eyes meeting his. “You have to kill him Sam,” she whispered.

That’s when the rational side of Sam won over and he shoved Jess back and looked down at her. “I will not kill my brother,” he said simply.

“Then you’ll let me die again,” she whispered looking hurt. “Sam we’re being given a second chance. You’re going to pass that up for him. He doesn’t care about you Sam, not anymore, not since Abbi came back. As soon as he finds her he’ll leave, whether you’re with him or not. You were just something so he didn’t have to be alone. With your dad and Abbi gone Dean was alone so he came to find you so he wouldn’t be alone anymore. But Abbi’s back now. He doesn’t need you anymore.” She stopped and lowered her head. “I still need you Sam,” she whispered.

“I will not kill my brother,” he said firmly. Then he pushed her away again and ran for the door. It was locked. He looked down and realized it locked from the inside. He turned the lock and tried to open it again. It was still locked. He was about to yell for Dean when he heard a broken voice behind him.

“Dea… Dean?” He turned instantly, the flashlight in his pocket. He pulled it out and flashed it towards the bed. Sure enough, lying there on the bed was a pale, almost dead looking Abbi. He ran over to her, maybe he had missed it somehow when he was looking around the first time. She was indeed tied down to the bed. He quickly untied the robes and sat down next to her for a moment.

“No, Abbi,” he whispered brushing her sweat covered hair out of her face. She was feverish and shaking. “Its Sammy,” he whispered. It was the first time he had actually referred to himself as Sammy. Usually he hated that name but he thought it would make Abbi feel safer. She opened her eyes slowly and smiled at him as he picked her up. He held her in his arms for a moment as she slowly regained consciousness.

“Sammy,” she whispered with a faint smile. There were tears in her eyes.

“Its ok,” he whispered wiping the tears from her eyes. “Don’t worry, you’re safe now.” She slowly wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder. He held her there as she cried, rocking her back and forth like she used to do when he was little. “Nothing’s going to hurt you now Abbi,” he whispered. It hurt him to talk to her like that because that was always her job. It was always Abbi that stayed up with Sam when he was scared. She was the only one that tried to make him feel safe when he was afraid at night. “You’ve got me and my brother here to protect you,” he whispered.

She looked up at him slowly, her eyes meeting his. She smiled at him and he tucked her hair back behind her ear. She paused and leaned back, able to sit by herself now. “Sam,” she whispered. He looked over at her with a questioning look. “Do you know why I was fighting with Dean,” she asked softly. “Be… before on the road.” Sam shook his head. He had been wondering but it had been in the back of his mind since she was in the hospital. It seemed rather trivial at the time. “A… about a month before we went to Europe, before I stayed there, I… I walked in on Dean and a… a mutual friend of our, Cassie. We weren’t really anything you know, not like officially but come on Sam you’ve known how I’ve felt about Dean since you were three. He’s just so dense sometimes. We had a bit of a fight but I told him I understood and I wasn’t mad at him. I lied, and that’s why I stayed in Europe. I guess he kinda figured that.” She laughed and hugged her knees to her chest. Sam moved a bit closer to her, since she was still shaking.

“Then when I was in Ireland I met Doyle. He was sweet, sarcastic, dense.”

“Dean,” he said with a bit of a laugh.

“With an Irish accent,” she said with a smile. “But then I found out, he wasn’t what he seemed. He betrayed me. Just like everyone else,” she whispered with tears in her eyes.

Sam moved closer once more and wrapped his arms around her to comfort her. He wiped the tears from her eyes and tucked her hair behind her ear once more. “I haven’t betrayed you Abbi,” he whispered. She looked into his eyes and smiled faintly at him. Without realizing it, she found herself leaning forward and her lips lightly touching Sam’s. Sam jumped a bit but after a second, he leaned forward into the kiss. He had one hand on her cheek and the other behind her head, fingers laced in her hair as he kissed her.

At that moment, the door kicked in. Dean stood in shock in the doorway. Sam and Abbi both turned to face him. Sam’s eyes widened. He couldn’t believe what he had done. Abbi stood slowly and stumbled over to him as Dean walked into the room. “How does it feel,” she asked with a small smile. He wasn’t looking at her. He actually pushed her out of the way and walked over to Sam.

“You backstabbing son of a bitch,” he said picking Sam up by his shirt and slamming him against the wall. Sam had only seen that look of hatred once before, and that was a couple of days ago. Dean hit Sam upside the head with the shotgun. Sam fell to the floor. Dean aimed the gun at him. Sam stood, picking up the shotgun he had dropped earlier. They stood facing each other both about ready to shoot, though Sam was doing it in defense. Abby ran at them to get them to stop. The sudden movement startled Sam and he turned the gun to her and shot. Abbi fell to the ground instantly. Dean dropped his shotgun and ran to her side. “Abbi,” he whispered picking up her lifeless body. Blood covered her clothes now. He held her tight. “Get out of here Sam,” Dean said through gritted teeth. He didn’t want to do anything stupid.

Sam just stood there in shock. Abbi was dead. He killed her. He looked up and saw Jess standing in the corner. “I told you Sam,” she whispered. “Dean doesn’t need you anymore. He hates you. If he finds out about me Sam, he’ll come after me, he’ll kill me. You have to stop it now Sam,” she whispered.

She was right. Dean was the type for revenge. What better revenge that to take the one Sam loves? His hand shook as he raised the shotgun. He wouldn’t shoot his brother in the back though. “Dean,” he said with a broken voice.

“I told you to get out of here Sam,” Dean shouted turning around. The instant Dean turned and his eyes met Sam’s Sam pulled the trigger sending the hot lead piercing through his brother’s chest, straight through his heart. Dean was dead before he hit the ground, lying hand in hand with his love.

Sam slowly fell to his knees, tears streaming from his eyes. “De… Dean,” he whispered knowing he wouldn’t get a response. The only other time he had seen his brother dead was when it was the shape shifter and he thought that was hard, this was unbearable. Sam looked up and Jess was gone. His heart skipped a beat. It wasn’t real. She wasn’t real. He killed his brother for nothing. He raised his shaky hand and closed his eyes as he felt the barrel of the shotgun against his head. He cocked the gun and tightened his finger around the trigger.

Straightjacket Feeling ch. 9

Sam clenched his eyes closed as he tightened his finger around the trigger of the gun. In his mind he could still hear Dean yelling at him. “Sam, Sam. Damn it Sam answer me when I’m ca-” Sam opened his eyes for a split second and thought he saw Dean in the doorway. “Damn it,” Dean whispered running to Sam. “What the hell are you doing,” he shouted pulling his brother’s arm down.

Sam looked down and saw Dean’s cold, dead body on the ground. “Sam,” Dean shouted staring at his brother. Sam’s head whipped up, hitting Dean’s chin. “Ow, Sam,” he shouted. Sam looked into his brother’s eyes. There was terror in his eyes. Dean paused for a moment and looked at him. “Sammy,” he shouted. “I heard shooting. What the hell do you think you were doing?”

Sam’s hands were still shaking as he dropped the shotgun. He looked down and still saw Dean’s body on the ground lying next to Abbi. “I… I… De… Dean,” he whispered staring brokenly at an empty floor.

Dean looked down, trying to figure out what his brother was staring at and why he was in tears. “Sam,” he said again shaking his brother. “Sam!”

Sam looked up at him as the image of his dead brother faded away and Sam realized it wasn’t real. He was trembling under his brother’s arms. “Dean?” He stared at his brother’s face which held an expression of utter confusion. “I killed you.”

“What,” Dean shouted in shock. “You what? Sam I’m right here. I haven’t seen you since we split up when we got here. I’ve been upstairs. I came back down here when I heard shooting. You shot several nice holes in the place though,” he said pointing to the hole in the wall and the one in the floor in front of them. “What’s goin’ on,” he asked beginning to get worried about his little brother.

Sam stood slowly and leaned against the wall. “Its… its nothing,” he said softly, still shaking.

“Nothing,” Dean shouted. “You just said you killed me. That’s nothing?”

“Did, did you find Abbi,” he asked. He pushed himself away from the wall. “We have to find Abbi,” he said realizing the sick girl wasn’t there.

“I think she’s on the third floor. I was about to head up there when I heard the shooting. Sam what happened?”

“Nothing,” he snapped. He pushed passed his brother and headed out of the room.

“Sam get back here,” Dean shouted. He sighed when his brother didn’t listen and picked up the stuff that Sam left behind then he went running after Sam. “Sammy wait,” he shouted as he caught up with Sam. He handed the shotgun to Sam. Sam reluctantly took it and looked over at Sam.

“It was so real Dean,” he whispered. “I could… I could feel it, her touch. She was there Dean I swear. Jess was there.”

“So you killed me. Sorry if I don’t follow.”

“Its complicated.” He sighed as they walked up the stairs. “Dean,” he said softly. Dean turned to him but didn’t speak. “Did you, did Abbi walk in on you and a girl named Cassie,” he asked quietly as they walked up the stairs to the third floor.

“No,” he said simply. “Why? If someone told you that its not true. Its not even possible. I didn’t even meet Cassie until after we came back from England without Abbi. I told Abbi about her, but she was never there when I was with Cassie.” He looked over at Sam questioningly. “Sam what happened back there,” he asked.

“Nothing,” Sam said again. They finally got to the top of the stairs. “You go that way, I’ll check this way,” Sam said pointing in opposite directions. Dean nodded reluctantly. As they began to split up Sam turned to Dean. “Dean,” he called after his older brother. “Be careful,” he said quickly. “And, don’t necessarily trust what you think is real. He makes you see things, feel things. Just be careful.”

Dean nodded and headed down the hallway. He entered a small dark bedroom. In the corner by the door, there was a large canopy bed. On the other side in the corner of the room, there was a window. Dean walked in slowly, holding the shotgun up, ready to shoot if need be. He moved the flashlight slowly around the room and stopped when he saw a figure lying on the bed. He remembered Sam’s words, not to trust what he saw. He looked on at the unconscious figure. Her skin was so pale. Dark circles encompassed her once beautiful brown eyes.

He wasn’t sure if it was really Abbi. What had Sam seen in that room? Jess? It had to be something more if he thought he killed Dean. Had Sam seen Abbi? Dean took a small step towards the bed. She didn’t move. Her arms were tied down, and her feet to the posts of the bed. He stood at the side of the bed looking down at her for a moment. Then he heard something from outside in the hall. He took a step back and looked out in the hall but saw nothing.

When he turned back to the bed Abbi was gone. He looked around for a moment. That didn’t make sense she was right there. Maybe she hadn’t been real. He flashed the light around the room and walked around for a moment, stopping in the center of the room. There was nothing there. He sighed and looked around once more. Then he felt it. It was so small he wasn’t even sure what it was until he looked down and saw in the small circle of light on the wood floor, the little drop of blood. He had felt another hit the top of his head, the second one. His hand shook as he stared at the floor for a moment, afraid to look up and find the body of the only girl that ever really knew him, understood him.

He knew he had to do it though. He closed his eyes, his flashlight raised first, and then his head followed with his eyes still closed. He felt a drop of warm blood fall onto his closed eyes. Slowly, almost reluctantly, Dean opened his eyes to his worst fear. It had heard the first time he had thought it had happened, when the police officer had told him that the fire had started in her room. His heart stopped as he stared at the ceiling, a drop of Abbi’s blood fell and landed in his right eye. He looked down for a moment, blinking it away. As soon as he looked up she burst into flames. “ABBI,” he screamed.

He couldn’t move. The fire was closing in on him but he couldn’t move. He tried, he tried to move, the whole house was made of wood. He wouldn’t let Sammy get caught in it. Then he lowered his head to see a figure in the corner of the room. He walked out into the light of the flames slowly and rage filled Dean. Standing in the corner of the room, with his arms crossed and a smile on his face was his little brother. “Dean,” he said with a laugh. “Who did you think it was?” He laughed and took another step towards him. Dean raised the shotgun. It couldn’t really be Sam. Sam was only a baby when their mother died. It couldn’t be Sam.

“Would you kill me Dean,” he asked looking at his brother with pain in his eyes. “You’ve spent your whole life trying to protect me. Would you really kill me? What would you do to save her Dean,” he asked with a smile. Dean froze. “Anything? That’s how I felt with Jess. I would have done anything to save her. I just, I couldn’t help it. The power, it was too great.” He laughed and looked up at the ceiling. Dean raised his head and saw that there was nothing there. When he looked down he was alone in the room again.

Sam came running into the room a second later. Dean turned and aimed the gun at him causing Sam to take a frightened step back. “Dean what’s going on? I heard you scream. Did you find her,” he asked quickly. Dean lowered his shotgun realizing that it was indeed his baby brother.

“Sam,” he said with a pause. “Tell me what happened downstairs. I want to know why you thought you killed me.”

“Dean we don’t have-”

“NOW SAM,” Dean shouted.

Sam sighed and lowered his head. “It… it started with Jess,” he said quietly. “He made me see things. Things that weren’t real Dean. Its nothing really. I obviously didn’t really kill you so what does it matter..” Sam closed his eyes and leaned against the wall.

“That’s what you’re afraid of,” Dean said quickly. “That you’ll kill me?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Just trust me. This guy has gotten in our minds, probably through Abbi since she knows us so well.” He sighed and shook his head. “I’m assuming you didn’t find her.” Sam solemnly shook his head. Dean sighed and looked around the room.

“Dean,” Sam said quickly as he looked over at the bed. Dean shined the flashlight on the bed and saw that Abbi was still lying there, unconscious and bound to the bed.

Dean dropped the light, and his gun and ran to her side. She had to be real, if both of them were seeing her, right? He sat down at her side while Sam helped him untie her. Then he picked up her limp body and brushed her hair out of her face. “Abbi,” he whispered shaking her a bit. “Abbi come on,” he said softly. Her breathing was faint, almost nonexistent. “Abbi wake up,” he whispered again. Sam just stood there watching, leaning against the bedpost.

“Dean,” Sam said softly. “This was too easy. Where is he?” Dean knew he was right but he didn’t want to admit it. They hadn’t had an encounter with Doyle at all, just Doyle’s tricks. Dean looked down at Abbi’s pale body. Sam could see the sweat on her face. She really was feverish.

“Was it me you were looking for Dean,” a familiar voice said from the doorway. Dean turned and saw Doyle, dressed as the firefighter he had met as a child. “Or was it Abbi?” Dean gently set Abbi back down on the bed and stood, turning to face Doyle. He didn’t say anything, Dean’s death glare was answer enough. It didn’t seem to scare Doyle though. He just laughed and shook his head. “Dean,” he said sounding disappointed. “She won’t get any better if you kill me. I’m the only thing keeping her alive at this point.”

Dean looked down and realized he had left the shotgun about a yard behind him in the middle of the room. Sam, standing next to him noticed as well and handed Dean his gun. Doyle laughed once more and entered the room. He took a step towards the bed and Dean moved to block his way. “Think about it Dean. You’re smarter than this. Did you really think she had Leukemia? What do doctors know of the supernatural? Honestly, you should have noticed that right away and maybe I wouldn’t have had to take her. You cannot go ten plus years without treatment for Leukemia and still be able to live, let alone do what she did. She was an amazing hunter Dean, but you already knew that didn’t you. She was better than you.” Dean fingers clenched around the shotgun so tight his knuckles turned white. Doyle took another step towards Abbi and Dean moved to block him. Though, a second later Dean noticed that Doyle was already at Abbi’s side.

“She’s going to die Dean,” he said simply, running his fingers through her hair. He looked down at her. “It’s a shame the world will lose a woman so beautiful. And how she dies, that’s the worst part of all,” he said as he looked up at Dean with a smile. “You figured it out though Dean, what I was doing. I’ll give you credit for that. You’re not as stupid as your father said you were.” At that Dean raised the gun and aimed at Doyle’s face. Doyle simply laughed and stood walking up to Dean. Dean blinked and when he opened his eyes, he saw Sam standing in front of him. He looked behind him where his brother was and he was gone. He knew it was some kind of illusion. It wasn’t real. He wouldn’t fall for it this time.

“Dean what are you doing,” his brother’s voice said but it was Sam. It couldn’t be Sam. “Dean put the gun down. I’m just trying to help man. Dean put the gun down.” He took a step back and raised his hands in the air. Dean slowly moved to Abbi’s side, not taking the gun away from “Sam’s” face.

“Do you think I’m that stupid,” he said with a bitter laugh. He lowered the gun only for a moment to pick Abbi up. “I can see through you’re little act.” At that he saw his brother reappear next to Doyle. “Now,” be began lowering the gun after her noticed that Sam had picked up the other one. “My little brother and I are going to take Abbi out of here. Then, he’s going to take her far away and I’m going to come back here and kill you,” he said as if it were so simple.

There was a little look of worry on Doyle’s face. He hadn’t counted on Dean’s will being so strong. He was actually willing to kill his little brother to save Abbi’s life. He hadn’t counted on that. It worked to his advantage though. “All right Dean,” he said with a smile. “We’ll play your way.” He laughed and before Sam could react, Doyle grabbed the gun from his hand and aimed it at Sam’s head. “Now what Dean,” he asked with a smile. “Its her, or your-”

“Abbi,” Dean answered without hesitation. Dean knew Sam still had the ability to fight back. It’s true that Doyle was strong, and fast, and not entirely human so it would be a bit hard for Sam to beat him, but Sam still had the ability. Abbi was unconscious and all but dead. He wouldn’t leave her behind. Sam didn’t seem to understand Dean’s thought process though. He looked at his brother with a hurt and betrayal in his eyes. That look killed Dean but he knew it had to be done. Sam would realize it soon enough and he would be able to get away from Doyle, or at least stall him long enough so Dean could get Abbi in his car then come back for Sam.

“All right then Dean,” Doyle said with a smile. In one swift motion, Doyle lowered the gun to Sam’s chest and pulled the trigger. Dean hadn’t counted on that. He nearly dropped Abbi and ran to his brother’s side. Sam was coughing and had his eyes clenched shut.

“Sammy,” he said leaning over his brother. Dean looked down at his brother and noticed that there was no bullet hole. Instead, there were several large gashes on his chest. “You loaded it with rock salt,” Dean said with a bit of a questioning look.

Sam smiled. “I didn’t think it would be best for both to have bullets,” he said through gritted teeth. “In case something happened.”

That’s when Dean realized that it was actually his shotgun. “You loaded mine with rock salt,” he said quickly.

Sam laughed and shut his eyes tightly. “Like I said, in case something happened.”

Dean turned and stood. It was obvious that Doyle hadn’t expected the gun to be loaded with rock salt. Sam should be dead right now, instead he was just laying in severe pain, bordering on consciousness on the ground. Dean could see the anger in his eyes. Dean ran to Abbi’s side and picked her up. She was beginning to wake up. Dean set her gently on the bed as she began to regain consciousness. Doyle looked over at her and smiled. Doyle knew he couldn’t keep Abbi sick any longer. It would take her years though to fully recover from what he had done. He smiled at her and blew her a kiss. “You will think of me,” he whispered before he disappeared.

Dean sat beside Abbi and brushed her hair out of her face. “Abbi,” he whispered. She slowly opened her eyes and smiled at him.

“Is it over,” she whispered.

Dean wanted to tell her yes but he knew she could always tell when he was lying. He couldn’t get that thought out of his head. Their father had spoken to Doyle? Their father had told Doyle that Dean was stupid? It didn’t seem right. Dean looked over at Sam. “You okay there big guy,” he said as Sam started to get up.

“Oh, yeah wonderful,” he said sarcastically. “You know Dean, you could have at least thought about it for a moment, like I meant something.”

“Dude,” Dean began rolling his eyes at his brother, “I knew you would be able to get out of it somehow. You had the advantage of being conscious.”

“And he had a gun loaded with rock salt.”

“Yeah we’re gonna talk about your trust issues later,” he said somewhat coldly. “My gun? That’s so not fair.” Dean looked down at Abbi, who just stared at him with a blank look on her face. “Long story. One that will make a great story to tell the grandkids.”

At that Abbi caughed and her eyes opened wide. “Grandkids,” she said weakly but there was a hint of humor in her voice. “You think you’re going to be lucky enough to have kids with me, let alone grandkids, after this little stunt. You have some major kissing up to do before you get anywhere near anything that can lead to procreation,” she said with a small smile.

Dean laughed and picked her up. He carried her down the steps and set her gently in the backseat of his car. “Dean,” she said softly. He turned to her before starting the car. “What if it was a choice between me or the-”

“The car,” he answered simply turning and backing out of the drive-way of the house.

“Yeah, its stuff like that that’ll get you farther and farther from those grandkids,” she said with a laugh.

Sam looked at him. “So wait, if you would choose the car over her and her over me, how high and I on your list.”

Dean just glared at his brother, who gave him a small smile and they continued on their way back to the hotel. That night Dean didn’t sleep. He knew Doyle wasn’t gone, and it wasn’t over. He wouldn’t sleep, not until Doyle was dead. He couldn’t risk it. If he fell asleep, he might lose Abbi again. She lay, on what would be Dean’s bed, as he sat in the chair watching her sleep. She looked so peaceful. Her color was coming back a little bit though she still looked like death.

Straightjacket Feeling ch. 7

Abbi woke early on the morning of her fourth day there. She opened her eyes but it was a struggle. Her vision blurred easily now. Abbi’s naturally pale skin was now ghostly white. Save breathing and the movement of her eyes, she looked as though she were dead. She was weaker, weaker with every day. She searched the room hoping to find some sort of hope that Dean was there. She’d be happy even if it was just Sam, just as long as it was someone that could get her out of there.

Her eyes stopped on the figure of a man standing by the window. The morning sun lit up his face and he seemed to be almost angelic. Abbi knew differently though. She knew what lurked in the shadows of his heart. Doyle turned to her and smiled. His smile was always a captivating one, made even more appealing by his ‘innocent’ ice blue eyes. He walked slowly over to her bed and sat down beside her, taking her hand and holding it gently. “How are you feeling,” he asked softly. Abbi didn’t answer. She simply stared at him with rage and hatred in her eyes. He smiled at her and tucked her hair behind her ear. “There, there,” he said simply. “It will all be over soon Abbi. I promise.”

Abbi’s stoic face was slowly replaced with a smile. “You don’t know Dean Winchester, Doyle. You don’t know him like I do,” she said simply. “You’ll regret pissing him off.”

“I don’t know Dean Winchester,” he said with a laugh. “I don’t know Dean Winchester? Just like I don’t know John Winchester, or Sam Winchester right,” he asked with a malicious smile. “Or I don’t know Mary Winchester.” He laughed a little. “Abbi, you still don’t understand do you,” he said with a smile. “I made Dean Winchester. Do you think he would be the way he is, so angry, so cold, if his father hadn’t raised him that way? Do you think his father would have raised him like that if Mary hadn’t died the way she did? No, no Abbi, it is not me that doesn’t know Dean Winchester, it’s you.”

She knew, part of her always knew, he had a connection to what killed Mary and now Sam’s girlfriend. Part of her always knew but she thought it was the same kind of connection Sam and Dean had. She always thought that maybe someone close to him was killed the same way. It had never occurred to her that Doyle might have had something to do with Mary’s death, Jess’, the death in Ireland. She never thought about it until that moment.

Doyle smiled and stood slowly. “I’ll regret making him angry? Is that a threat Abbi?” He laughed and leaned against the wall across the room, facing her. “You don’t think that I could easily kill Dean in a heartbeat? It’s really very simple. But I don’t want to kill Dean,” he said with a smile. “No, no, and I won’t kill Dean, just like I won’t kill you. Little Sammy’s going to do all that for me. You know how I don’t like to get my hands dirty.”

“Sam may have issues with Dean but he would never kill Dean, and certainly not me,” she snapped. She scolded herself mentally for how cliché that was.

“Sam loves his brother that is true. Sometimes though, there’s only so much someone can take. Sam loved his father, but he just couldn’t take it anymore. His father’s orders, Dean’s orders, the disappointment. He couldn’t handle it anymore so he killed them,” he said with a smile. He sounded as though he were in the witness stand of a courtroom. “Sam loved Abbi. She had always taken care of him. He loved her, maybe even more than Jessica. He couldn’t stand to see her die so slowly, so painfully. He had to put her out of her misery,” he said. His voice held pain, but his face was full of smiles.

“You think you can make Sam think that? You think you can convince him to kill his brother,” she asked with a bit of a cocky laugh. “You don’t know as much as you think.”

“I don’t think I can make Sam think that. I don’t need to, its already started. They’re from two completely different worlds Abbi. Sam is the bright young scholar with a great life ahead of him. Dean, what does Dean have to his name? He doesn’t even have a name, not one that can be used anyway. The Winchester name has been tarnished since Dean was a child. It was tarnished because of you Abbi,” he said simply. “All of this is because of you. If you hadn’t been there, if you hadn’t come to them that night. Everything would be different. You’ve made my job very hard Abigail,” he said sounding a little disappointed.

“You’re job,” she asked. Her voice shivered as if she were actually afraid. “What job.”

“Yes, Abigail, my job,” he said with a laugh. He walked over to her and stopped at the side of her bed looking down at her. The eyes she had once found so much comfort in were cold and empty. He sighed and slowly sat down on the bed next to her. He tucked her hair behind her head and leaned down. “Abbi you’ll never get better if you keep yelling at me,” he whispered softly. “You need to rest.”



“Dean, you need rest,” Sam insisted once more. It had been a week since Abigail had disappeared. “Dean you’ve hardly had any sleep.” He sighed and sat at the table of the hotel room.

“Sam I have no idea where she is,” he shouted. “Sorry if I’m having a little trouble sleeping. I just keep… I keep-”

“Thinking it was your fault?” Sam looked over at him and shook his head. “You little hypocrite. Its all right for you to lose sleep and blame yourself for killing someone who’s not dead,” Sam shouted standing to his feet. But me, when I could have done something for Jess. I could have told her. She actually died, I saw it, the fire, her face. I can’t lose sleep? I can’t blame myself?”

“Sam,” Dean said with a sigh. He wasn’t in the mood to fight with his brother. “You know that’s not what I-”

“No Dean,” Sam shouted. “All this time you’ve told me not to blame myself. That there was nothing I could have done to help Jess. But that’s not true. I saw it. I saw what happened to her, for weeks before it happened and I didn’t say a word. Now she’s dead and I can’t change that. But Abbi’s not dead Dean! There’s still something you can do but you won’t be able to help her if you’re not strong enough. You need to get rest!”

“Don’t tell me what I need Sam,” Dean shouted. He was cut short though when his cell phone rang. Both Sam and Dean turned to look at it. “Hello,” Dean said when he picked up the phone.

“Dean?” Dean heard a familiar voice on the other end.

“A…. Abbi,” he said with a broken voice. He couldn’t believe he was hearing her voice. “Abbi, where are you,” he said quickly, not knowing how long it would last. “We’ll come for you I swear.”

Upon hearing her name Sam stood straight and walked over to his brother. He watched him worry in his eyes. Sam knew the lies this Doyle guy was capable of. He used Jess’ voice to speak to him.

“Dean,” Abbi whispered on the other end. She was crying, she never cried.

“Abbi you need to think, where are you?

“I… I’m in a room, it… it looks like someone’s…. someone’s bedroom. Its… its dark,” she said softly. She looked around and tried to look out the window, but she could hardly get up. “I… I can… I can see the moon,” she said softly, telling him where the room was in this house. “Its… its old,” she whispered.

“Abbi, are you all right,” he asked worriedly. “Are you safe.”

“I… I can’t move, I’m… I’m tied down. Dean,” she whispered. “I… I’m getting worse. Wh… why now?”

“I don’t know Abbi. I’ll find you,” he whispered. “I promise. Where are you? Do you have any other ideas?”

“I… I don’t think I’m too far from the hospital,” she said softly. “Umm… I can… I can see it through the window. I… I don’t think anyone lives here Dean.” Abbi looked up and saw Doyle walk into the room. He smiled and walked up to him.

“Abbi give me that. Dean,” he said with a smile. However, the voice Dean heard was the voice of his father. “Dean, what are you doing? I trusted you with a job why aren’t you doing it? Abbi’s fine, trust me. She’ll die peacefully,” he said with a laugh. “Well, that’s probably not true. Her body’s slowly deteriorating Dean. She really won’t die peacefully. It will be slow and painful.” He sighed and looked down at Abbi who was crying. “Dean,” he said with his own voice now. “There’s nothing you can do now Dean.” He laughed. “You’re a brave little kid,” he said with a smile. Memories flooded into Dean’s head, memories of the night of the fire. “That’s gotta be pretty scary. But you’re a big kid aren’t you? That your brother over there? I’m sure you’re a great big brother.”

“You’re done now,” Dean said through gritted teeth.

“Did you like the hat Dean?” He laughed. “I’m sure by now you’ve got you’re little brother tracing this call, but honestly Dean, she’s too weak to move. How could she have gotten a phone unless I left it there for her.” He laughed again. The Winchester boys were brilliant in their own right but Doyle couldn’t help but laugh at Dean’s stupidity. “Dean you’re not thinking straight,” he said this time it was the voice of his baby brother speaking to him. “You need rest Dean,” and with that he hung up the phone.

Sam stood a few feet from him, staring at him. “Was it really Abbi,” he asked.

“Yeah,” Dean answered distantly. “That bastard’s gonna die,” he said coldly, turning to his brother. Sam had never seen such a look of pure hatred before in anyone let alone his brother.

Straightjacket Feeling ch. 6

Abbi woke slowly and opened her eyes. Her head was throbbing and she felt weak. She looked around and found herself in the same room she had been in before. Slowly she tried to sit up, to no avail. “Abigail,” she heard the familiar voice say. She searched the dark room for the voice. “Abbi,” it whispered again.

“Dean,” she whispered searching for her friend. She saw no one and began to think she was going crazy. “Dean,” she called a bit louder. Abbi tried slowly to sit up and move once more but found her legs still bound to the bed. “Dean,” she whispered frantically. Her shaky voice had never let fear like that show.

“Shh,” he whispered still unseen. “Don’t worry Abbi you’re safe now.” With that she laid back down, still frightened. Her terror increased when she saw a man emerge from the shadows. It was not Dean as she had thought.

“B… Braeden,” she whispered. She tried to get away from him as he walked over and sat on the bed next to her but she could not move. “DEAN,” she screamed.

“Shh,” he whispered placing a finger over her lips. “Abbi, be still,” he whispered to her. Braeden’s cold blue eyes stared down at Abbi. She was shaking and she felt his icy hands rest on her shoulders, ‘calming’ her. “Why are you yelling Abbi,” he asked quietly. “I thought you would be happy to see me.” He smiled at her and brushed her long hair out of her face. “I’ve been looking for you for a long time Abbi.”

Again, she struggled to get away from him. “DEAN,” she screamed. Tears filled her innocent brown eyes.

“Shh Abbi,” he whispered placing his finger over her lips once more. “Stop screaming. I’ll have to make you go to sleep again.”

“Don’t talk to me like I’m a child Braeden,” she shouted. He used to do that all the time and she hated it.

“Abbi, calm yourself.” He stood slowly and looked down at her smiling. “You shouldn’t have left Abbi, you were too sick to go anywhere.” He walked over and stood by the window, leaning against the wall. “The Winchester boys will be here soon enough Abigail,” he said with a slight laugh. “It is of no use to call them. Give them time. Dean must get over your death first.”

Terror seized her. She knew exactly what he meant by that and it terrified her. “Dean,” she whispered. “You little bastard,” she said looking at him. She tried to sit up and was rather successful this time. Her success however was short lived for when she woke she found the room spinning and she fell back on her pillow.


Dean sat at the table of their hotel room studying every inch of his father’s journal. He was searching for anything, references to Abbi, letters from her, anything. He sighed when he found very little. He hadn’t slept in over thirty-six hours. “Well, we know she was in Europe,” he sighed. “According to some of Dad’s entries she was doing almost the same exact thing there that we’re doing here.” He sighed and ran his hand over his face trying to wake up. “There really isn’t much else.”

“We’ll find something Dean,” Sam said comfortingly. He sat down at the table across from Dean and took the journal. “Get some sleep Dean,” he said as he red through it. “I’ll look through here.” Dean was reluctant to sleep but he knew he needed it. He slowly rose and walked over to the bed. He was asleep before he even hit the pillow. Sam looked over at his older brother and laughed. Then he turned his attention to their father’s journal. “Come on Dad, give us something,” he mumbled. After several more hours of searching the journal and online he was able to find out a few helpful things. Dean woke early the next morning. “All right,” Sam said turning to his brother. “I found a letter Abbi sent Dad about a year ago,” he said taking out a small folded up piece of paper. “Abbi was working on a lead in Ireland, a lead on mom Dean,” he said looking up at his brother. She had heard reports of an unexplained fire,” he paused and looked through the letter, “Ummm…,” he paused and reread through it. “There was a fire and a woman died. She talked to one of the kids, he was about,” he paused and looked up at Dean. “He was six and he had a little brother that was little over one.” Dean stared at his brother. “While looking through the scene she met Braeden, a police officer investigating the fire. He had heard from the boy what had happened. The boy claimed that he heard his mother scream and ran out of his room into his little brother’s room. Then he found his mom on the ceiling and the room caught on fire. He picked up his little brother and ran. Ummm,” he paused. “I guess their father had left right after the youngest was born. Anyway, she asked Doyle what he thought of it all and he said that it was plausible. I guess since then they’ve been lookin’ for this thing like we are.”

Dean sat there in amazement for a long time. “Doyle,” he whispered as memories of their childhood came back to him. “There was a firefighter at the house, the night mom died. He gave me his hat. His name was Doyle.” Dean looked up at his brother. “Sam, whoever took Abbi knew about how mom died. Maybe… maybe this Doyle guy knows something about it.” There was a new hope in Dean’s eyes. “What happened to the kids?”

“Doesn’t say. It just says that Abbi came back about a week later to check on them and they were gone,” Sam answered placing the letter back on the table. “It does fit doesn’t it? I mean, the man that called last night definitely had an Irish accent. But, if this Doyle guy had something to do with mom’s death wouldn’t Abbi have known? Why would Abbi have been with him?”

“She probably didn’t know Sam,” Dean answered softly. “The name Doyle is just another name to Abbi, she wasn’t with me when I talked to the firefighter, she was with you and Dad.”

“So what should we do,” Sam asked.

Dean paused and tried to think. “I can call in a few favors; figure out where the call to your cell phone really came from. We should talk to any attendants that were on Abbi’s floor last night; see if they saw anything. After that, all we can do is try to fit pieces together to find her. I don’t think she’s dead Sammy,” he said simply. “I think whoever this guy is; he’s trying to get to us. He’ll keep her alive.”

“You’re probably right.”

“Where was the fire?”

“She doesn’t get much more specific than Cork, Ireland,” Sam answered. He looked at his brother. “Check to see if there was a Braeden Doyle on the police force last year. I can do that now.” Sam opened his laptop and sat there for a few moments. Then he looked over to his brother with a small smile. “Nope,” he said simply. “I looked up information about the fire too. It seems that before that night no one had ever seen this Doyle guy before.”

Dean laughed and Sam looked at him questioningly. “Abbi was always obsessed with what names mean. She told me what Doyle means. It’s just ironic.”

“Why,” Sam asked.

“According to Abbi anyway the name Doyle means ‘dark foreigner’. Fits don’t you think,” he said with a laugh.

Sam laughed and closed the laptop. “Let’s go see if we can find anyone that was working at the hospital last night.” With that, the two brothers got up and headed out the door.

They didn’t get much help from workers at the hospital. Though someone told them that earlier that evening a man had come in looking for Abbi. He told the man what room Abbi was in but then as he was telling Sam and Dean he remembered that he never saw the man leave the room, shortly after that the fire started. Sam and Dean thanked the attendant for the help and went back to Dean’s car. “Well, its obvious that this Braeden Doyle took her the only question now is where,” Sam said leaning against the car.

Almost the instant Sam said that Sam’s cell phone rang. “Hello,” he asked. Sam’s eyes widened as he heard the voice on the other end. His heart raced and he looked as though he would cry. Dean watched in wonder, ready to kill anything that would hurt Abbi or Sam. Sam’s words were faint, almost inaudible. “Jess,” he whispered as he dropped the phone.

Dean caught it as it fell. “Hello,” he said quickly but whoever it was had already hung up. He looked at Sam who seemed to be in shock. “Sammy,” he said shaking his brother. “Sam what is it?”

“Dean,” he said softly. “Whoever… this Doyle guy is… he’s not human.” Dean stared at him for a moment. “I know it was him speaking to me, somewhere in my mind I know Dean. But… the voice… the voice wasn’t his, it was Jess’.”

Dean stared at his brother for a moment and looked down. “Don’t worry Sam,” Dean said placing a hand on Sam’s shoulder. “We’ll get him.” He paused and looked around. “What did he say,” Dean asked.

“He uhh… he said that Abbi was being taken care of and was safe. He said she was sleeping.” Sam paused and leaned against the car again. “He said she would stay asleep until we find her which means he’s drugging her or something. The only problem is we have no idea where she is.”

Straightjacket Feeling ch. 5

“Sam, she can’t be gone,” he said standing up. “She could hardly keep her eyes open. There’s no way she could have walked out of there, much less snuck out of there.” Dean was now pacing around the room. He had his fingers laced together with his hands behind his head, a gesture his younger brother made more often than he did.

“That’s what they told me Dean,” Sam said with a sigh as he sat down on the end of the bed. Their roles had changed and Sam was beginning to notice that. Dean was usually the calm one sitting on the end of the bed while Sam paced, now Dean was pacing and Sam was sitting. It didn’t make much sense to Sam. “Dean, calm down,” Sam said firmly. Was Sam giving out orders now too? He stood quickly to get rid of the odd feeling in the pit of his stomach he was getting watching Dean pace. “Dean, stop you’re gonna make me sick,” he said as he grabbed his older, shorter, brother by his shoulders to stop his movement.

“Someone must have taken her Sammy,” he said turning around to face his brother.

“Dean,” Sam said firmly once more. “Calm. Down.” He sighed and sat down on the end of the bed once more. “Who would have taken Abbi? She has no enemies right? I mean she hasn’t been hunting with you guys in a long time right? She hasn’t gone on a job with you or Dad since when?”

“Not since a year or so after you left for college,” he said simply. “She got separated from us on a job overseas. You know her and her love for that whole Europe thing,” he said with a laugh. “I called her as soon as it was done and she said she was fine. She asked if we minded letting her stay there for a while and we said sure. Actually, Dad insisted on it. He said it was safer, now I know why. She must have shown signs of getting weaker or something.” He sighed and sat down on the end of the other bed. He ran his hands through his short hair and along his face, trying to think of something. “I called her a couple times after that but about two or three months before I got you we lost contact with her. I hadn’t seen her until today.”

“You think she made some enemies overseas,” Sam asked just as confused and baffled as Dean was.

“I don’t know. She seemed a little tenser in the car today, and she’s never yelled at me like that before.”

“Not true Dean,” Sam corrected quickly. “You’ve never yelled at her like that.” Sam gave him a cocky smile and then looked away when he saw the seriousness of his older brother’s face. He sighed and ran his hands through his dark hair, the same way Dean had. “Do you know of anyone she had contact with overseas? Where she was? What she was doing?”

“No,” Dean said with a sigh. “Dad had all that stuff with him. And I don’t remember him ever writing it down.” He got up and walked over to the table where their father’s journal lay open. He flipped through the pages looking for something that might lead to Abbi. “I can’t find anything,” he said with a sigh. “Here,” he said quickly. He pointed to a page of notebook paper in the journal. It had some small scribbles on it Dean could barely make out. “It says she stayed in Ireland for a little bit, doesn’t say where.” He sighed and threw the journal down on the table in frustration after a moment of reading. “Doesn’t say she was involved in anything other than some small journalistic jobs in Dublin,” he said with a sigh.

“A journalist can make some pretty bad enemies,” Sam said arching a brow at his brother.

“Enemies that would fly all the way here to kidnap her from a hospital there’s no way they could know she was in,” he asked leaning back in the chair.

“Good point,” Sam sighed as he turned around and retook his position on the bed. “Maybe we should go to the hospital and see if there’s anything there that might help,” Sam suggested.

“Sure,” Dean said with a sigh. He put his blue jacket on over the same grey t-shirt he had been wearing for nearly six months. He put his boots on and stood, picking up his keys and turned to Sam who was still changing. “Sammy, come on,” he hurried.

“I’m coming,” Sam snapped as he tied his shoes. He stood and grabbed his jacket as they walked out the door.


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Abbi slowly began to reenter the world of the conscious. Her eyes slowly opened and she looked around the room. It was dark and her vision was still blurry. She sat up slowly and looked around. The only light came from a window across the room. Finally, her eyes began to adjust to the darkness. She was fine until she realized she wasn’t in the hospital anymore and she began to panic. She looked around, trying to guess where she was. She went to walk over to the window but found her legs were strapped to the bed. Her heart began to race. “Dean,” she whispered but no actual sound came out. She heard footsteps outside her door. She laid back down as the door slowly opened and she shut her eyes, pretending she was still unconscious.

She couldn’t tell who had come into the room. All she could hear was the sound of boots against the hardwood floor. She tried to slow her breathing and heart rate so it wasn’t obvious she was awake. “You can open your eyes,” she heard a man’s voice say. The voice sounded somewhat familiar but she couldn’t place it. She opened her eyes slowly. That did nothing to help her see who it was. It was far too dark for her to see anything but a silhouette. “Do you take me for an idiot Abigail,” the man asked.

She looked at him confused. Her hands were shaking and tears were forming in her eyes, but she was stronger than to let herself cry. “Who are you,” she asked strongly. She was surprised her voice could sound like that, given her current situation.

The man simply laughed and let the blinds drop ridding the room of what little light it had. Abbi’s heart raced and she clenched her fists trying to calm herself. “Who am I,” he asked still laughing. The man sat down on the edge of the bed, next to Abbi. “Abbi, what kind of a question is that,” he asked brushing the girl’s hair from her face. She turned her head quickly away from him. His voice was so familiar but she couldn’t place it. “Shhh,” the man whispered placing a finger over Abbi’s lips. “Now’s not talking time for you Abs,” he said with a smile.

She cringed at the name. Only one person had ever called her that, and that was Dean. That didn’t make sense, the voice wasn’t Dean’s voice. She knew Dean’s voice, this man had an Irish accent anyway. Who was it? “Abbi, don’t be afraid,” the man whispered taking Abbi’s trembling hand. Abbi tried to fight and pull her hand away but he tightened his grip and she was in no shape to fight. Her head was beginning to hurt and her vision blurred slightly. “Shh,” the man whispered. “Its time to sleep now Abbi,” he said as he took out a small needle from his pocket. He removed the cap and straightened her arm. Then he slowly inserted the needle into her arm and sent whatever was inside coursing through her bloodstream. Her vision had just come back into focus. The man leaned forward and before she could see his face, her world went black. “Good night my princess,” the man whispered kissing Abbi lightly on the forehead.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Sam and Dean got to the hospital just in time to find the police there. “Can I help you sir,” one officer asked.

Dean looked down at the tag on the man’s uniform. “Not really officer,” he read the name on the tag, “Rowland,” he said with a smartass smile.

“I can’t let you in there sir,” Officer Rowland said stepping in front of Dean.

“Why not?”

“This is a crime scene sir can’t you see,” he asked pointing around at all the tape.

Sam and Dean exchanged glances. “Crime scene,” Dean asked trying to hide the worry in his voice. “What kind of crime?”

“Arson,” the officer answered. “Now if you don’t mind I need you two to step back please.”

“Arson,” Dean said quickly.

“We came responding to a call from a staff member here,” Sam interrupted. Dean looked over at his younger brother questioningly. “One of the attendants called and told me that my dear sister-in-law went missing. I called up my brother and we came to find out what we could. You see, my brother’s wife has Leukemia and when he saw her last, not more than a few hours ago she could hardly stay conscious for very long. We came by to find out how she got out.”

“Yeah,” Dean piped up.

“Wait right here sirs,” the officer said. He turned and walked back to a group of other officers.

Dean turned quickly to his brother and pushed him back slightly. “Sister-in-law,” Dean asked.

“Well they have on record that Abbi’s an orphan with no siblings so immediate family couldn’t work. Plus cousins wouldn’t be close enough for something like this,” Sam answered.

The officer returned and both boys turned to face him. “Abigail Murphy,” the man asked looking at a chart in his hands.

“Yeah, that’s my baby,” Dean said with a smile that was more real than he meant it to be. Sam merely rolled his eyes.

“It doesn’t say anything about a spouse,” the officer said.

The boys were caught off guard. Dean answered quickly though. “We haven’t actually gotten married yet,” he said blushing slightly. “We were supposed to be getting married in a couple of weeks actually,” he said beaming. Sam was beginning to think Dean was getting a bit carried away.

“Really,” the officer said with a somewhat sad face.

“What,” Dean asked turning ghostly pale. Sam could see the terror in his eyes.

“Well the fire started in her room,” the officer said simply. “The firefighters weren’t able to recover a body there was too much damage to the room. They found her hospital band though,” he said handing the charred plastic band to Dean. “I’m terribly sorry Mr….”

“Winchester,” Sam answered for his brother.

“I’m sorry Mr. Winchester. I’ll let you know if we find out anything new.” The officer left to go look around the site.

Sam looked down at his brother who was staring at the band in his hand. It looked for a moment as if he wasn’t breathing. “Dean,” Sam asked after a moment. This was what Sam had feared since they brought her in. Dean shouldn’t lose her like this. It wasn’t fair. Dean looked up at his brother slowly. There were tears in his eyes, though he tried to look strong. He clenched his fist around the Abbi’s hospital bracelet. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to Sam understood. He wrapped his arms around his brother and felt Dean’s body begin to tremble. “I’m sorry Dean,” he said quietly. He didn’t know what else to say. Dean’s body began to quake as he was unable to hold back the pain inside him any longer. Sam could hear his brother’s heartbroken sobs. He felt so helpless and wondered if this is how Dean felt with Sam after Jess died.

Straightjacket Feeling ch. 4

“Something Dean, anything,” Sam said simply. “Don’t just leave her here.” He sighed once more. He remembered just as well as Dean the look on Abbi’s face when she was taken away. “She needs you Dean,” he said simply. “Are you just going to abandon her?”

“What the hell am I supposed to say to her Sam,” he shouted turning to his brother. “Answer me that? I don’t know what I’m doing here,” he shouted. For the first time he let his brother see his pain. “How do I help her,” he said slowly sitting down in a chair. “I can’t save her like I did you Sammy,” he said looking over at his brother. This was almost impossible for Dean to comprehend. “Why couldn’t it have been a demon or something? Why couldn’t it have been something I can fight?”

“Dean Winchester,” a soft voice came from the desk nearby. Dean looked up towards the nurse that was standing there. “Miss Murphy’s asking for you,” she said kindly with a smile on her face.

Dean’s heart stopped and his breath caught in his throat. He looked over at Sam and Sam just nodded in the direction of Abbi’s room. “I’ll wait out here,” he said quietly.

Dean nodded and slowly rose to his feet. He stood there for a long time then followed the nurse into Abbi’s room. She was lying on the bed hooked up to all sorts of machines that Dean didn’t know what they were for. She had an IV and was hooked up to a heart monitor. Dean knew that much. He stared at her, standing in the doorway. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. She looked so fragile. It was nothing like the Abbi he knew. She was still very pale and dark circles encompassed her eyes. After a moment, Dean took a few steps forward and stopped next to Abbi’s bed. It took a long time for him to smile. She knew he was hurting. She knew John hadn’t told him. She had been with the Winchesters her whole life. It would have been to hard on him for watch his son grieve like that for her.

“I… I wanted to tell you Dean,” she said quietly. Though Dean didn’t realize it she could see his anger in his eyes. She always knew how Dean felt, even when Dean didn’t know. Dean slowly reached down and took her hand. After a moment, he pulled a chair over and sat down next to her bed.

“Did the doctors say how bad it was,” he asked trying to be strong. He thought it was embarrassing crying in front of Sam he couldn’t bear being weak in front of her. She shook her head slowly and closed her eyes. He watched her in silence for a long time, holding her hand. He had never really realized what she meant to him, not even when she was separated.

Sam stood in the doorway watching them. It was obvious that Abbi had fallen asleep. Dean didn’t know Sam was there. He tightened his hand around Abbi’s. “You can’t leave me now Abbi,” he whispered brushing her hair out of her face. “Not now when I have no one left.” A small shock of pain went through Sam’s heart when he heard that. He knew Dean was talking about their dad but it still hurt to hear him say that.

Dean rested his head on her bed and shut his eyes tightly. He finally broke down. Sam watched from the doorway as his brother’s body trembled and he heard his brother’s cries. He never thought he would see Dean break down like that. After a few moments, Sam went back out to the waiting room and sat back down. His mind traveled back to Jessica’s death. That had destroyed Sam. He didn’t want Dean to have to go through that. He knew it was something completely different with Abbi but still he could see the same pain in Dean’s eyes that had been in his when Jess died.

Dean finally came out into the waiting room and stopped a few feet from Sam. Dean’s eyes were empty. Sam knew that feeling all too well. Sam got up and walked over to his brother. “Dean I’m so sorry,” he said as he wrapped his arms around his brother. “I wish there was something I could do.”

Dean just turned and began to walk out of the hospital. “Where are you going,” Sam asked as he ran after him.

“Get a room before it gets too late,” he said simply. Sam was relieved by that. The two brothers got into Dean’s car and drove to a nearby hotel. They got a room and carried their stuff in. Dean got in the shower and Sam sat on the bed with his laptop. He figured since there were there he might as well look up and see if there was anything in the town that could keep Dean distracted for a while. Sam found a few local stories but nothing solid.

After a while Dean came out of the bathroom, wearing his blue jeans and went searching through his bag for a shirt. “Dean,” Sam asked looking over at his brother. Sam had just noticed something about his brother that was a bit disturbing. “Do you have any other pants?”

“What,” Dean said looking up at Sam. That was an unusual question. “Of course I do,” he answered defensively. “These are just my favorite.”

“Right,” Sam said with a nod as he went back to what he had been doing. Dean put his shirt on and fell backwards down on the other bed.

“Find anything,” he asked looking over at his brother. He assumed that was what Sam had been doing.

“Nothing worth checking out,” Sam said disappointedly.

Once they were settled in Dean called the hospital to let them know a number they could call if they needed anything. It was about three o’clock that morning when Dean’s cell phone rang. It woke Sam up but Dean had been so used to it he slept through it. “Dean,” Sam whispered trying to wake up his brother. “Dean,” he said a bit louder. Finally he just decided to answer the phone. “Hello,” he said with a groggy voice. “What,” he said sitting up straight. “Yeah.” Then he hung up the phone and jumped out of bed. “Dean wake up,” he said shaking his brother.

“Wha…,” Dean said slowly opening his eyes. He looked up at saw Sam standing over him. Then he turned and looked at the clock. “Sam, this better be good.”

“Abbi’s gone,” Sam said quickly. Dean went ghostly white. That was when Sam realized what Dean was thinking. “No, no,” he said quickly. “Not dead Dean. Gone, as in not in the hospital anymore.”

“What,” he said sitting up quickly. “That’s impossible she could barely stay awake more than a few minutes. There’s no way she could have gotten out of there unless someone took her.” Worry and dread filled Dean. Who would take her? Why would they take her?